Sometimes quietness is good. When those kids are put to bed, or when the dogs are finally quite. When you hear…. nothing. Oh what a long day and week shall I say. With a Valentine’s party and this whole week gathering up the toys that the kids left. It was a week I really wanted to end. Then it got quiet. Real quiet. I wondered what to do. Sleep or sit. After all this pregnancy has taken a toll on me lately.
But than I heard Him. I heard the Lord speak to me, in such a way that I felt at peace. Often times we wish for quietness, stillness, not-so-business. We overwhelm ourselves by adding more on our plate than we should and later blame God for it.
In reality it was us who put more on our shoulders than anything. We put more on our schedule, more on the to-do list, more on the agenda and left God out. When we put other things, worldly things before the Lord, and when we don’t spend time with Him, he is quiet. Then we wonder what went wrong. You can’t expect to hear God when His Word is shut.
See, I put this blame, this tiredness, on this pregnancy. Yes I am tired, yes I just want to sleep because my body feels like its overworking. Which it is, its creating another little human ha! But what I mean is, its up to us to either do something about it or not. He was a little quiet. I cried. I wondered what I did wrong. But I realized prayer is a great communication with Him BUT I also needed to open the Word. One whole week of not opening up the Bible because I chose sleep. One whole week, and that I did not like. From being a mama waking up at 5:45am every morning to spend time with him to now trying so hard to make it out of bed at 7am rushing trying to get my kids in school… its a change. A change I don’t like but the peace He gave me was just beautiful. Knowing He hasn’t left, He hasn’t changed His love towards me, knowing that He is still here…. I opened my bible and read some passages today. 1 John. Oh how His love surpasses everything. His grace was extended to me even when the whole week I decided to sleep in and head to bed early. He still gave grace.
We often wonder why He becomes silent, quiet, never speaks, but its not Him. Its us. We have to discipline ourselves so that we can spend time with Him and His Word. His Word speaks to us in all seasons of life. The passage He gave me months ago I didn’t quite understand until now that I am going through the storm. Its a small one, much smaller than the ones I went through but I do know this storm I’m in, He is shaping and molding me. He is transforming me into who He wants me to be. I can’t expect to hear Him even when I pray. Yes prayer is communication but from what He told me, I can’t just pray I have to be willing to let that sleep not overtake me, open my bible and allow Him to fill me up with His Word. Oh so beautiful! Conviction isn’t bad you guys. Don’t ever take conviction wrong, its a guidance, teaching to help you correct your way. God corrects us. He corrects our wrongdoings that we do not see. I didn’t see that sleep was overtaking my time with Him. Even though I am pregnant I decided to take different routes, because my relationship with the Lord is far more precious than sleep or any other thing in this world. We have to be the ones to decide if He is more important or if the other thing is more important.
I wanted to hear Him. I had heard Him all the time, loudly and clearly. But just one week of not opening the bible, it made a huge impact on my life. He showed me something I will forever cling onto. If I want to hear Him, be given wisdom, showing me the way, I have to be willing and ready to do my part wholeheartedly. A prayer I said “clean my heart Lord, examine it and give me a new pure heart that desires and longs to be with you each passing day.” It wasn’t long, it wasn’t big words, it was from my heart. He revealed to me what needed to be removed and what needed to be replaced. It is so beautiful you guys when He does this. He does this out of love. He loves us, oh how He loves us. He LOVES YOU too dear friend. Open the Word, open His Word and allow Him to speak to your weary heart today.